Monday, June 28, 2010

Popcorn Covered with Love

My dearest friend in the world is here for a few weeks with her son AJ who is 3 years old. Life is full of drama, love, and laughter when we are all together! She can make me laugh until all the muscles in my face relax to a state of pure embarrassment, as well as some other muscles that I would really rather NOT blog about…lol! BTW, If you have never laughed this hard, it might be time to find some new friends. ;) Soooo anyway, today I want to tell you about the “love“ part.

Last night, we all gathered in the family room to watch the 80’s version of The Karate Kid. Our plan is to see the new one sometime this week; so we thought we would introduce my older kids to the original. At some point during the movie someone mentioned popcorn, and for a moment the entire world and T.V. are put on pause until a decision can be made as to who will be the one to go and prepare the popcorn. Josh, my oldest, volunteered, and I enlisted my youngest to help him as well.

Soon the house was filled with the aroma of hot buttered popcorn. All those upstairs began yelling out toppings they wanted on their bowl of corn. Before long, Josh and Tiph made their way back up and began handing out bowls with all the fixins’. Little AJ must have smelled it too because he soon found his way into the family room. He was playing in the study with his best friends, Monkey and Rocket, you know, the furry kind of friends ;). Everyone was busy talking and laughing, and not paying much attention to anything other than their bowl of popcorn.

I was sitting in my chair, and I watched as AJ walked over to his mom’s bowl. He looked around, then looked into the bowl, and then reached with great care to pick the very best piece of popcorn. Just as he was about to put it into his mouth he stopped and looked at my Jacob. AJ then walked over to Jacob and asked, “Jake, you want some popcorn?” and he gently put that piece, his piece, into Jacobs’s mouth!

Jacob didn’t ask for popcorn, not because he didn’t want any but because he is unable to. His words are there; they are just locked inside his little mind, and God hasn’t given us the key...yet!

In all the excitement of the night everyone forgot that Jacob might want some popcorn too, everyone except my 3 year old godson, AJ! I watched, in awe, as AJ continued to go back and forth to his mother’s bowl feeding Jacob.

This small act of love made me think…how many times have I been without words, too hurt to speak or even pray? How many times have I felt ignored or overlooked in a room full of people, unable to reach out for help? How many times has my Heavenly Father found a way to reach down and choose just the right “peace” to extend to me?

While others may want their popcorn plain or with butter, covered in ranch powder and salt, or even with a side of pickles...I just want mine covered with love!

Friday, June 25, 2010

Here Comes the Rain

Playing in the orange grove at my aunt’s house is one of my favorite childhood memories! We would pick oranges, and eat them until our bellies hurt. Back then we didn’t care if the juice ran down our chins, our hands and even between our fingers; we had not a care in the world.

My cousins and I would stand in the middle of that orange grove and watch for the rain that would eventually come in the afternoon. Someone would yell “Here comes the rain” and we would take off running. We would always run ahead just a little, and then stop and watch the rain come closer. Then at the last minute right before it reached us, we would take off and run ahead again. We would barely make it to my aunt’s front porch before the down pour.

These days, Im not standing in my aunts orange grove, I’m standing smack dab in the middle of life. Where most days, no one is yelling “Here comes the rain”, and there seems to be no porch to take cover, and I find myself caught in the down pour.

It is in the downpour moments that I am learning to trust the rain, HIS rain to free me from all the messy things that I have allowed to cover me, and wash me clean. And on the days I see it coming, or I hear a voice saying “here comes the rain”, I run as fast I can to my father’s porch and allow him to cover me with HIS love. Because after all my life is HIS life and he’s not afraid of the rain!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

To Blog or not to Blog...

To blog or not to blog…that seems to be the question these days! Some say it’s crazy and even dangerous to be so open and frank about one’s life in the cyber world. Others seem to think it’s therapeutic. Me, well I’m not sure yet, I’ll let you know!

However, to answer the question…. YES, today I will blog! How does one start a blog, well I think I just did. I have been married 21+years to a man, who I have known since he was 13, he is now 41. I know everything about him, and I know nothing about him…it just depends on the day:)! I have 3 wonderful children, who have stretched me far more outside of my womb then they EVER did while inside. I am sure you will come to know them all…that is, if this blog thing sticks. You see I have a tendency to start something with full force and participation, much like a turtle trying to cross a road…but then something usually happens that makes me pull my head inside my shell and I wait until it’s safe to try again.

My goal has been perfection most of my life, in fact I can’t remember ever NOT trying to be the perfect daughter, friend, wife, and mother. At 43, I have yet to reach my goal and I am so very tired and worn out from trying. For those that “think” they know me they would tell you otherwise because I hide the fact that I’m not “perfect “very well, or at least I think I do. After all I’ve been practicing for 30 years or so. So much time, energy and tears wasted because you see, there is no such thing as the Perfect woman or Superwoman for that matter. In fact there is only Wonder-woman and Cat-woman and believe me it took a long time to figure that one out!!!

So after a lot of heartache, thinking and talking with my dad (my heavenly one), I have decided that I just want to be me, the one HE intended me to be…and so a new journey begins. If you choose to go along with me, good, I need the company. If you’re looking for perfection in my writing, in my life or in my story, trust me you will not find it here, because “here”…. I plan on just being me!