Dreams

I made beef stew for dinner. It's been in the crockpot all day & my cornbread is in the oven. I did some cleaning, finished the laundry & ironed some clothes. I didn't wear much make-up & I wore my slippers all day. I was here when my kids got home from school & was able to watch REBA with them. 

It's not a glamorous life. For some, it might even be considered boring. But for me, it's what I dreamed of when I was a little girl. Not so much the ironing & the cleaning part (lol) but the homemaker, wife & mother part. 

Sure, through the years I've had other dreams, but today, I'm thankful for the ones that came true! I realize now, more than ever, not all of them do. 

Your dreams are probably different from mine, that's ok, that's the way it should be. I just hope your dreaming & whatever your dreams are, they come true... At least the ones that are meant too! ;)

Thankful Mom

Fingerprints

The sun streaming thru my windows this mornin’ illuminated the fingerprints on my tables & TV, left behind by my neighbors beautiful 2yr old. Seeing them made me smile! Got me thinkin’…I sure hope when the SON shines on me, it’s HIS fingerprints you see! :)


This was my facebook status yesterday and I wanted to share it with you. I want so desperately for the fingerprints of God to be seen in my life. Not just in the times of rejoicing but in the most painful times as well. When we hurt, I think it’s easier, at times, to pull away and focus on the negative. However, by doing this HIS fingerprints aren’t very clear... on us or our situation. Although sometimes it’s hard to praise him in the storm, it’s not impossible.

There is nothing sweeter than feeling GODs hand on my life and allowing him to be the director of EVERY step I take, especially in the storm. Isaiah 30:21, Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."
Now more than ever, I know that I will find my way/HIS way and walk in it.

This journey of forgiveness and healing is the path He has allowed me to walk. Although the enemy wants me to believe I am alone, I know, that I know … HE is with me. Even on the cloudy days, when it’s hard to see HIS fingerprints, I know that THEY ARE THERE.

If you’re in a dark place and the storm clouds are rolling in, please know that the SON will shine again.

Blessings,
Steph

Free

WOW, I can't believe how long it's been since I've blogged. I wish I could say that the turtle in me kept her head out and held high. However, the truth is, I have been tucked deep inside myself, afraid of my words, afraid of my thoughts and certainly afraid of sharing them.

Pain and fear have been my company most days since my last post. Although there have been moments of great joy and genuine happiness, these moments as beautiful as they are, never seem to last very long. They are quickly snuffed out with thoughts of the past, unanswered questions and blanks, left only for my imagination to fill.

2 weeks ago, some changes started occurring in my heart, mind and spirit and I can't wait to share all that has happened to me.

I'm not sure where to start in telling you my story, and I'm not really sure about the ending. However, I am sure of this...I want my words and my story to be healing for someone who reads them.
I want to tell of the amazing LOVE the Father has for us and the lengths HE will go to show us that great love.
I want my story to tell how forgiveness is not optional and it's not impossible on our journey to heal.

I no longer fear my words...
How or Why?
It's quite simple...
The truth (absolutely) sets you free!

Empty Shoes

Most every day I come home and open my garage door to find this…



Shoes lined up in every direction, making the short walk from my driveway to the back door a bit of a challenge.

I have yelled, I have threatened, I have screamed and I have picked them up more times than I am willing to admit!

NO MATTER what, I still find them in this position most every day.

If I’m being honest, I’d have to admit…I get so angry every time I see them. I have bought shoe bins, shoe bags, and shoe shelves and NOTHING, I mean nothing, works with this family of mine. LOL!

Last week, as I returned home and opened the garage door I, once again, saw my welcome home shoe banner.

I stopped and stood there…looking at each pair.

Cowboy boots, size 14, belong to hubby. We had the best night out looking for the perfect pair and we found them…and here they are…here on the floor.

I see the water shoes Jacob wears. His tender feet need a little help on our days at the pool. His first pair of ‘high dollar' sandals are close by as well…lol! We made this purchase proudly; after all, my baby needs the best for his little feet. Not to mention his pacing can wear out a pair of shoes faster than you would believe. :)

I remember hearing the Doctor say, “he’ll never walk,” and then I see both pair... here on the floor and my heart is filled with joy and I am overwhelmed.

My oldest, home from college, has the most I think. All types too...flip flops, slip-ons, black ones and brown ones. As I look at each pair, I realize...these shoes have traveled around the world, covering the feet of one who brings good news…our Josh, the missionary. My heart fills with love and pride as they all lay here, here on the floor.

In the middle of the boy’s sea of shoes, I spot my little girl’s. One pair! She, like her mom, puts things where they belong (most of the time anyway). Standing there in my garage, I think of how these shoes will walk the halls of high school for the very first time, in just a few days…and my heart *sighs*.

One day my kids will have their own garage and their empty shoes will no longer create a path (or obstacle course) from my driveway to my back door.

How will I feel when that day comes? When I arrive home, and there is no 'banner' of empty shoes to greet me? Part of me might be happy, but most of me will be sad.

These empty shoes that once made such an awful mess and made me angry suddenly became a beautiful mess that makes my heart smile.

So...today if you come home and find a path of empty shoes...look a little closer and you'll see, not the empty shoes...but the ones who wear them.

I hope your heart smiles today and that you’re able to find the beauty in your mess.
Steph

Whose voice is it?

Recently, while shopping with my daughter, I had to take a potty break. The restroom was a little crowded, but fortunately it was one of those that had a lot of stalls. I had not been in there long when I heard someone softly calling, “mom?” I immediately knew it was my daughter.

It was that moment, in the bathroom, that I realized that even when I no longer recognize HIS voice, my Heavenly Father knows mine.

I have had a battle raging in my mind, one that I truly felt I had no strength to fight, much less win. Life sometimes brings us unexpected heartache and that ache can spread to our spirit and to our mind. Our unanswered prayers and questions can give us cause to dwell in places where we do not belong.

I have been so preoccupied with the voice of the one who reminds us of all our hurt and pain, the one who tells us daily of our failures and our faults, that I was unable to hear the voice of my Heavenly Father.

I could not hear HIM saying, “I have a plan for you; I want to give you HOPE and a future."

I missed the part where HE said, “I love you, and I am preparing a place for you; but until then, LIVE this beautiful life I desire for you…and live it to the FULLEST until I return for you.” I was too busy listening to the enemy, drowning in a sea of lies he besieged my mind with.

I had become so weary and tired from dwelling on the past, that I could no longer see the future. Daily I would search for anything to confirm what the enemy would whisper, giving me permission to isolate myself from people, to gain weight, to excuse my bad or sad mood, and to pretend… when necessary.

Did I do this intentionally? No; but gradually I did it.

It’s easy to find confirmation and excuses for the negative in our lives when negativity is our focus. And sometimes it’s easier to sit and listen to the enemy than it is to STAND and to fight for the life God gave His Son for us to have.

Each time we hear or think, we must ask ourselves whose voice is speaking. You see, the enemy speaks to our flesh, our carnal mind, and God speaks to our spirit.

Satan speaks fear while God speaks faith. Satan speaks past; God speaks future. Satan reminds us of our hurt, and God reminds us of our healing. Satan says it’s impossible; God says ALL things are possible.

I am learning that sometimes we cannot stop harmful thoughts from crossing our mind; however we CAN stop them from dwelling there. It takes dealing with one thought at a time. When the enemy comes to you and tries to steal your faith or your hope…just remember he cannot take that which he has not been given.

Maybe you’re like me. You’re in a place where you no longer hear or know the voice of our Heavenly Father. Maybe you’re weary or you’re tired, and this battle seems to be lost. You are calling out but no one seems to hear. Please know that when we have lost the ability to hear HIM, HE still hears us; HE knows our voice.

My prayer is that it is HIS voice you hear today...
Steph

No Matter What

No Matter What...Lyrics

I’m running back to your promises one more time, Lord that’s all I can hold on to, I gotta say this has taken me by surprise, but nothing surprises you. Before a heartache can ever touch my life, it has to go through Your hands, and even though I keep asking why, I keep asking why,

No matter what, I’m gonna love You, no matter what I’m gonna need You, I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what.

When I’m stuck and there’s nothing else by myself, I’m just sitting in silence, there’s no way I can make it without Your help, I wont even try it. I know You have Your reasons for everything, so I will keep believing, whatever I might be feeling, God you are my hope, and you will be my strength,

No matter what, I’m gonna love You, no matter what I’m gonna need You, I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what.

Anything I don’t have You can give it to me, but it’s ok if You don’t, I’m not here for those things, the touch of Your love is enough on its own, no matter what I still love You and I’m gona need You

No matter what I’m gonna love you, no matter what I’m gonna need you, I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not , I’ll trust You, no matter what, no matter what. I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain, but if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what no matter what no matter no matter what


I heard this for the first time today and I had to share. I hope that NO MATTER WHAT… you are loving, trusting and believing in HIM today!

Steph :)

The Owl, The Box, & My Best Friend!

As I told you earlier in my popcorn post…love, laughter, and drama seem to follow me and my bestie wherever we go. Rachell and her 3 yr old son stayed with me for a few weeks this summer, so you may hear more about us than you want too! Today, I want to share a bit of our drama with you…

The Owl



I have to admit, I knew very little about owls until this summer. I‘m still no expert, however I have learned a few things. I have never seen one up close UNTIL recently.

Rachell and I, along with our boys, were headed out of my neighborhood when Rae thinks she has spotted an owl! Well, it’s 11:30 in the morning, and I think there is no way she has really seen one; I tell her as much! At this point, I am thinking she may have seen one of those plastic ones perched on someone’s fence. “NO,” she replied as she came to a complete stop, putting the van in reverse and backed up… and sure enough on the right side of the street, sitting as still as could be on our golf course, was an owl! She DID see one and it was real! I hate it when she’s right and I’m wrong! :) Rae then put the van in park and got out to take a closer look. The owl opened his eyes, but never moved or tried to fly away. Knowing that the owl is wounded and vulnerable, Rae gets back in the van, turns it around, and we head to the club house thinking someone in charge of the golf course grounds could help. I immediately called animal control and asked if they could dispatch someone to come and take a look at our newfound, feathered friend. The truth is, I asked for an animal ambulance…I got a chuckle for that one!

The Box



The dispatcher actually asked if I would be willing to find a box, put the owl in it, and bring it to them. “Are you serious?” I ask…YES, he was! I tell him “I don’t think so” and could he please send someone. By this time Rae returned to the van and explained she had no luck at the club house. I relay my news that some crazy dispatcher wants us to find a box, put the owl in it, and bring it to them. Next thing you know she is stopping the van, AGAIN, this time to retrieve a BOX from my neighbor’s trash; she then jumps into the van with the box and heads back to the owl. All the while I sit back and quietly have a panic attack!

My Best Friend



We returned to find the owl in the exact spot where we left her. Her breathing had slowed, but she was still hanging on. Rachell sat as close a she could and gently soothed her with words of life. To some this might be extreme, but to my best friend it came naturally. Animal control finally showed up, about 45 minutes into our drama (with leather gloves I might add). Rae would have sat there all night if needed; that’s just who she is and one of many reasons why she is my BF. The rescue worker covered the owl, picked her up, and gently placed her in a carrier, one designed for wounded birds.

They took her to a place where she could heal and one day fly again.

OWL: Nocturnal, mournful in voice, solitary in disposition, far-sighted and very unique…

My best friend can’t stand to see any of God’s creatures suffer; I can’t stand to see her suffer. Much like the owl, Rae has had many sleepless nights wrestling with her own pain. Her voice once used as a gift to sing the praises of our heavenly father became silent, “mournful’, and so did her spirit. She was unable to see through her pain, HIS hand, reaching down wanting to heal her wounded soul. She sat this way for a very long time. Wounded, and too hurt to move.

BOX: A container, case, or receptacle, usually rectangular and often with a lid or removable cover...

She surrounded herself with walls built of bitterness, pain, doubt, and depression. She boxed herself in and away from us all. Sometimes on our journey the path becomes too narrow for even a BF to come along. But, I am so thankful, for where our friends and family cannot be….there HE is.

BEST FRIEND: Secret keeper, truth teller, remains close no matter how far away, dramatic, full of contagious love, laughter, strength and courage...

A few months ago, some of Rachell’s walls began collapsing. Just as that rescuer reached down and took hold of the owl, taking her to a safe place where she could heal, God reached down and captured the heart of my best friend, once again.

Is her journey over? No.

Is all her pain gone? No.

Have all her questions been answered? No.

But she is now in a safe place, where she continues to heal and knows one day she will fly again.

Whatever journey you are on, whatever walls surround you…please know there is a God in heaven who wants to rescue you.



Oh...and just in case you're wondering...my blinds were open today, and the SON was shining through. Hope yours were too!

Steph